Transcript of An Hour After Biology

Today is Thursday. That means that I have about 3 hours between Biology and my next class. This gives me a chance to actually eat lunch, which is a rare occurrence. It also gives me plenty of time to get myself into trouble. I will detail the trouble I got into today as a list of pros and cons, in order. This list will span about the length of an hour, from leaving Bio to coming home to write this post.

Leaving Bio:
Pro: It was really, really hot out, so I decided to stop by Starbucks on my way back to my dorm for a nice, cool iced coffee. There wasn't even a line this time!
Con: It was, really, really hot out. I drank every drop of my frappuccino before I even walked into my room. There went my idea of having a coffee with my lunch.

Lunch: Parte Uno
Pro: There was sushi again today, and I actually got to the dining hall in time to have some. All the previous times I have been in class when its being served and have completely missed out.
Con: I still got there a little bit too late, so there was only two pieces of sushi left, both the sad little end parts that were falling apart.
Pro: It was still tasty. One of the pieces even had a big slice of avocado in it.
Con: I wanted more, but all the fatties that had gotten to lunch on time had eaten all the other pieces. Stupid fatties...
Pro: They had soy sauce and wasabi there for us to eat with our sushi! The lunch people are so considerate when it comes to condiments.
Con: Wasabi is really, really spicy. My mouth was tingling a little bit more than I usually like it too after I eat spicy foods, but I could handle it.
Pro: Sushi is really, really freaking good.

Lunch: Parte Dos
Pro: They had shrimp again, and shrimp is tasty. They don't over cook it, so it has a nice pop when you bite into it.
Con:  "Firecracker". Be very, very wary of any food with this word in front of it. I was still desperate mood for food at this time, so I decided to try it.

I don't know exactly what I was thinking, but I let them put sauce on it.

Red sauce.

Red sauce in the culinary world is like bright colors on frogs: "Don't eat me, I will hurt you if you do".

For those of you who want a description of this rule, here are a few illustrations.

Firecracker shrimp is not some sort of happy little red shrimp that will explode with flavor in your mouth.

Firecracker shrimp is more like this:

This firecracker shrimp will not explode in your mouth with flavor, it will explode in your mouth with PAIN.

Pro: Broccoli and carrots were served with the evil, evil shrimp.
Con: The sauce had leaked all over the veggies.
Pro: I had a drink.
Con: Iced tea doesn't help at all when it feels like you just licked the metal hood of a car that had been setting out in the sun on a really, really hot day and then set on fire.
Pro: Having my mouth on fire made the outside temperature seem cooler by comparison.
Con: I couldn't care less how hot it was outside, because MY MOUTH WAS ON FIRE.

The moral of the story is: Don't eat anything with the word "firecracker" in front of it and expect it to be a pleasant experience.

On a more pleasant side note, here is a video of a shrimp on a treadmill that is adorable and hilarious at the same time.


Shrimp on a Treadmill

Tiny Apple

Here is a picture of a tiny apple that I got from the dining hall. It is up against a sticky note for comparison. The apple is organic and all of his little tasty friends are about this size too.

If you don't think that he is adorable then you have no soul. That is all.

Flip Flap!

Packing for college was very exciting. Most of my possessions were boxed up and stuck in the deep shelves in my room, and I got to see the rest of my room empty out into two little duffel bags to loaded into the back of the Big Volvo. Because I knew I wouldn't have much room in my dorm, I tried to minimize the amount of stuff I would bring. I left my collection of shells, bones, feathers, and other assorted animal parts.

I even packed up my prized puffer-fish, wrapped securely in several layers of newspaper (bubble-wrap+puffer-fish=bad).


But there was one item that I absolutely had to bring with me. One item that I knew would make me happy every time I looked at it, and would always make me smile.

I had to bring my Flip Flap Plant.

For those of you who don't know what a Flip Flap Plant is, shame on you. A Flip Flap Plant is a little plastic plant with a solar panel attached to it. It's leaves bob up and down when the light hits them, and it gives me hours upon hours of amusement. Here is a video of my Flip Flap Plant in action:

For those of you who were so enchanted by my little plant, you can buy your own Flip Flap Plant here a ThinkGeek (which is the coolest website ever).

College: Truth? or LIES?

The year before I went to college,  I had people constantly giving me tips on how to survive in college, and telling me what it would be like. I listened eagerly in the beginning, interested in learning how to navigate the wide variety of experiences I was sure to encounter.

However, after hearing for the tenth time how I was going to have drastically shorten my showers because I was going to be living on a floor with two hundred other girls, I decided to take action. I looked up the floor-plans for all the Barrett dorms, and, lo and behold, it was two to four people sharing an in-room bathroom, with the toilet, sinks, and shower all separated. I informed all the people that had given me horror stories about communal showers the actual room plans and...

None of them believed me. At least, that's what I'm assuming, seeing as I continued to get told about communal showers almost daily.

This experience (among others) has inspired me to write a post about what college life is really about. So, with no further ado, I present to you:

College: Truth? or LIES?

Story 1: "Trying to do homework on the weekends at college is terrible, because people ignore the quiet hours at night and you will want to hang out with your friends during the day, but you won't be able to because of your homework, and it will be terrible and no fun at all, so get your homework done before the weekend."
VERDICT: LIES!
Quiet hours? What are quiet hours? They don't seem to exist on my floor. The amount of noise on the weekends merely peters out around two or three am. But there's always going to be people sitting in the hallways doing  homework, so don't worry. You won't be alone doing your homework at midnight in the hall.

What? You don't sit in the hall with everyone else to do your homework? Whats wrong with you? Are you some sort of antisocial freak or something?

Story 2: "If you take eighteen credits, you'll have soooo much homework. You'll have to get up early to finish class at a decent time, or sleep in and come back really late at night."
VERDICT: Truth
I am taking eighteen credits. I have a manageable to insane amount of homework (depending on the day), and while I do have to get up around seven to make sure I have time to do everything I need to before I head off to class, I have a few hours in the evening to do more homework. Other people have it easy. They get the teachers that don't assign that much homework. I have crappy luck, and have teachers that assign homework every night (but I seem to have gotten all the coolest teachers, go figure). I talk with people every day that say that they have their first paper for English and/or Human Event due in a few days. When they ask me if I've done any papers yet, I usually respond like this:

"B*tch, I got papers for Human Event AND English due after every class. Don't you be askin' me about writin' no papers!" 

Or something like that.

Story 3: "You have to be careful about sleeping in. In college, the professors won't care if you come in late, leave early, or even skip class entirely. Try not to miss to much class, because it will put you behind."
VERDICT: LIES!
Here is a basic outline of my professors' rules on missing class:

• If you miss 3 or more labs, you fail.
• If you miss 4 classes or more, you fail. 
• The only reasonable excuse for missing class is some sort of grievous bodily harm. Having your arm in a sling isn't enough of an excuse, you have to have a note from the hospital. 
• Weddings are not an excuse.
• A death is not an excuse (unless you can provide a corpse).
• If you miss more than the allowed number of days, you fail with no do-overs. The only second chance you get is to take the class over again. 

And people say you can miss class without anyone caring...

Story 4: "College food is crap. Its like cafeteria food, so most days you'll go home and gorge on Twinkies, pizza, soda, and Doritos to fill the void that is created by not wanting to eat canned spinach and 'mystery burgers' again. "
VERDICT: LIES!
I don't know what your college food experience was like, but I gorge myself on gourmet food every morning, noon, and night. The dining hall here can make anything. Flank, New York, or strip steak? No problem. Lobster? No problem. Tacos? No problem. Freshly baked cookies, brownies, cake, cannolis, and muffins every day? No problem. We have a freaking stir-fry station people! Make your own stir-fry every night if you so desire! The people at the pizza station will make gluten-free pizzas on request, and the omelet station can make you an omelet with any topping you desire, and you can choose from regular eggs, egg whites, or organic cage-free eggs.

What? You don't go to an honors college? Well then you're screwed. Enjoy your fried spam, peon.

Story 5: "You'll have to share a few showers with a ton of other people, expect to get up really early or go to bed really late so you can have a hot shower."
VERDICT: DIDN'T I ALREADY COVER THIS?!?
 I already said this once, don't make me repeat myself. One shower between two rooms, two people per room, one of them is me, so how many people do I have to share a shower with?

Three. That's one less than I had to share with at home. And everyone has a different schedule, so we all shower at different times. There hasn't been a single issue yet.

So far, this has been my experience at college. I have disproved many myths about college life, and confirmed others as (partially) true. As I experience more, expect there to be more rounds of...

College: Truth? or LIES?

Very Important Choices In College

Now that I am in college, and have been to all my classes at least once, I can start to make a routine. Currently, my routine for my week looks like this:

On Mondays and Wednesdays, I get up at 7, go to breakfast, surf the web for anywhere from a half hour to an hour depending on how long it took me to eat, and go to class at 8:30. I eat lunch on the run between classes, and eat dinner once I'm out of classes after I've dropped all my things off in my dorm, usually about 5 or 5:10ish.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I sleep in until 8, eat, then surf the internet or play Warcraft until 10:30 when I head to class. Tuesdays I eat lunch between classes again, but on Thursdays I have a few hours to head back to my dorm for some homework and an actual lunch. Once those few hours are over, I have to go to the one random class I have at the end of the day, then I have dinner.

After dinner I have some time to finish homework. By the time i finish, there is always a group of people sitting in the hall chatting, so I join them before I head back to my room for a shower and some more internet/Warcraft time.

The weekends are different though. I have three days in a row without class, where most of my classmates only have two. This is where the decision making comes in to play.

• Do I want to sleep in until noon? Or get up at 7 or 8 on Friday like usual and finish up any homework?
 

• Do I want to have an actual lunch once I wake up at noon (since I don't ever foresee myself getting up early when I can sleep in), or have breakfast? Do I want tacos or raisin bran for my first meal of the day?
 

• Do I want to have a heavy meal, and eat less often, or eat several lighter ones?
 

• Do I want a plate of cucumbers and baby corns or a big bowl of hummus and pita chips?
 

• Do I want to surf the internet or play Warcraft? Do I want to play as my priest or my druid?

As you can see, weekends in college are filled with many tough choices. Luckily for me, I was brought up right and have no doubt that I will continue to make the right breakfast/lunch choices, no matter what meal it is that I actually end up eating at.

Remember, I'm in Honors College...

     I would like to start out by saying: I am so proud of myself. I am very, very proud of the accomplishment that I achieved today. It was a first for me, I had tried my hardest to do it in the past and I doubt I will ever be able to do it again. Today... I ate a gyro with all the fixin's without spilling all over myself and making a huge mess everywhere.
     Of course, I then proceeded to ruin my own moment of glory by trying to eat the ice at the bottom of my glass and dumping all the ice and tea onto my face. It took me, like, 5 whole minutes to clean off my glasses...
     And so, despite believing all my life that I would have nothing of importance to blog about, I have decided to create a blog. Partially because of the fact that a few of my friends have blogs now that they're in college (http://kaitieatcollege.blogspot.com is one), but mostly because of the following story.

     I hope you realize that the following story is so epic, I had to make a blog just to tell everyone it.

     So today I decided to get right back to my dorm after dinner and work on a short-answer essay to a question for my Human Event class. I did it fine, no biggie, it was just a half-page to a page long. After I finished writing it, I remembered that my professor wanted all the short-answer essays printed. At this point, it was getting close to 6, so I decided I would go and print it before it got too dark out. I went over to Honors Hall (about a minute's walk from my dorm) to ask one of the helpful desk people where the closest printing station was since I don't have a printer to call my own.

     The map is added to let you see the scale of my adventure.  Please disregard the red circles, they were originally on the map I downloaded and have nothing to do with my story.

     After reaching Honors Hall, I decided to head upstairs where I thought I saw a computer station instead of asking the front-desk-person immediately. That was my first mistake. Although going up the spiral staircase was fun, I couldn't stop going in counterclockwise circles fast enough and promptly ran into the wall (good thing no one was around to see). I wandered around looking for the computer room for a good 5 minutes until I realized it was probably around the corner in the other direction from where I ran into the wall.

     Remember, I'm in honors college...

     Once I located the computer room, I found that it closed at 5. I went back down the spiral staircase (running into the wall again) to the help desk, and the kind person told me that the nearest printer would be at the Learning Resource Center, just a minutes walk from Honors Hall.

      When I reached the LRC, I was relieved to see that it was still open. I walked in, and inquired about the printer. The nice help-lady informed me that the printer was broken, and the nearest functioning printer would be at the computing commons.

     So, since the nice lady told me I should head to the Computing Commons, I did. I started  to walk all the way across campus to the Coor Computing Commons, which is where I had printed papers earlier for my Biology lab.

     This was quite a walk, and since I had though I was done with walking long distances for the day, I was in flip-flops. More importantly, I had also left my pokewalker in my dorm. How was I supposed to count my steps without my pokewalker???

     Anyway, once I got there, I found an open computer and logged into my gmail. I had the luck to pick one of the ridiculously old, slow Dell computers instead of the brand new and shiny Apple computers. It took about 10 minutes for the internet to start up, and about 5 more minutes past that to get my gmail open. All that time, the computer was making noises like an airplane trying to take off.

      When I went to print my paper, it didn't work. I didn't know why it wasn't working, I had printed here earlier, and a few days before that with no problems. After playing around with the computer (read: telling it to print about a dozen times and sacrificing brightly colored sheets of paper to the shredder in hopes of appeasing the printing gods), I got my paper to print. I then made my way back to my dorm.

      Now, you might notice something different about this map, something new that I haven't included in any of the other ones. That's right, its that big green star I put on a specific building.

     That star is on the same building I walk by several times a day on my way to and from classes.

     I even have a class in that very building, and happened to have class in that building today.

     If you go to ASU, you probably know what building that is, and are now mocking my stupidity.

     That building is the Computing Commons building, which is significantly closer to my dorm than the Coor Computing Commons building, which is all the freaking way across campus.

     Remember, I'm in honors college...

     This was the adventure I had today, and I hope  you all learn a valuable lesson from it: know the name of the buildings you have class in, and don't walk across campus if you don't really need to.